Time Bending, Ancient Life Agreements, and Divine Timing
“We are changing things—and not for the better—by holding back.”
In this episode, you’ll meet Rosia. She and I have orbited each other's worlds for quite some time, and finally the time was right!
Her intention deals with a life agreement that is outside of the Akashic Record. More than that, she’s the first person to present with this type of ancient life agreement.
This entire conversation is pretty incredible! We touch on timelessness and bending time, developmental somatic pattern work, and meddling—but not in the way you might expect.
The best visual to sum it up is to have you picture a suspended slingshot that's held back. So with that, welcome in!
You’ll especially want to tune into this client session if you, too:
» feel grounded, but in a stuck kind of way
» doing all the things all at once all the time
» are a big project manager and planner
» feel connected to everything on a cellular level
» pull yourself back or second-guess yourself
Topics covered in this podcast episode:
Rosia’s intention for this session with Amy
The very special origin of Rosia’s soul essence
What’s been getting in the way for Rosia
The type of clients Amy typically works with
The unique ancient life agreement Rosia’s coming in with
The types of life agreements people may have
How Rosia is naturally tapped into the energy of timelessness
Examples of life agreements Amy has unraveled for clients and herself
How over and under doing it are both ways of meddling with the whole
The perfect visual for this episode is “a suspended slingshot that's held back”
How the third pattern of developmental somatic pattern work is showing up
Why Alchemical Constellation Work requires there to be space for the messy, inconvenient truth
For those of you who have journeyed with us, I hope you’re curious about your own gifts, your own holding back, or your own overdoing it, and your own ability to access timelessness.
If you’re curious about doing your own work with me, you can always email me at: amy@amybabish.com
If this episode resonates, please leave a review on your favorite platform and share this episode with those who you think might benefit.
Until we meet again, I'm sending blessings from the Doeg land I steward.
Resources:
The unedited podcast transcript for this episode of The Soulful Visionary Podcast follows
Amy Babish:
Welcome to the Soulful Visionary Podcast. I'm your host, Amy Babish, and I am here today with someone who I'm meeting for the very first time. Welcome in, Rosia.
Rosia:
Thank you.
Amy Babish:
Rosia and I know each other through a mutual acquaintance, a good friend of Rosia's and a client of mine who's also a friend. And our 2 worlds are converging on this late August day in 2026. So welcome in. Welcome in.
Rosia:
Thank you so much, Amy. It's such a pleasure. It's been such a light just even being connected. I was like, this is meant to be.
Amy Babish:
Yes, it is. It's pretty wild. And I think it's important to share this because I don't have video on this podcast. But this afternoon, we're taping at like 6 o'clock Eastern Standard Time. And Rosia is in a different time zone. But in my, um, in my office, I have this like yellow lime green light that's coming in that is not usual for my space. So when I tuned in before, um, we hit record, I said, this is definitely related to your process. And I know the light in my space very well, and this is not like August light. I'm not really sure where we're going to be headed today, but it's going to be a wild ride. I feel that very deeply. And as listeners know, I start the process with your intention. So I think it's important for me to share what you wrote down on the form, but I have a feeling that it might have, like, expressed or further iterated since you and I have been in communication. And to also just presence that we are in an eclipse portal, and eclipses are sometimes really pivotal. And like, I think about them as Martini shakers, and they take in all of the data from our— all of our lives, and then they're pouring out a liquid that is something unique that didn't happen before the shaking. And so we're in the eclipse portal, and sometimes other energies come in on that. And when I read your intention, I was like, oh, some other energies are here with us. So Rosia wrote down, I want to explore what's currently bending my path. And even that phrase, bending my path, I could feel it in my solar plexus. I was like, whoa. Whether it's a blockage, a contract, a record playing on repeat, which I have the full body chills with that one, or something that is altering the settings of my magnetic and temporal being. There's something, and I can feel it, and it doesn't feel as straightforward as a contract. So I have the full body chills. Take it from there.
Rosia:
It was so interesting filling out that form because I've never said bending before in this way, but it was the word that immediately came to me. It just, it feels like it's just pulling in a very, um, in a way that is changing what's happening now. But it's not from now, and it feels very, um, uh, stagnant. Like, it feels like an effort to hold, um, the bend. It's like, it's like an intentional misalignment, a, uh— and that's why I was like, the record spinning. Like, it very much felt like when a compass can't stop. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
Rosia:
And Since then, um, it was like, this is the moment. And that's just the— that's kind of the repeated, um, feeling I've been getting since I filled that out and since I knew this was happening, is this is where it unbends, basically.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, it's like a convergence. I can feel that. Um, and when, when you, when you feel into or tune into or sense If all this could be sorted, how would you like to use the energy for yourself or for your life or your work? Or, you know, you get to throw everything in, in this intention setting process.
Rosia:
Yeah, I'd say there's something that has kept me from vocal expression. As since I was very young, I was always very into poetry and performance and just kind of It feels like it spills out of me. It's never edited, it's never monitored, and it just comes out and it flows. And so there's been something that has— this hall monitor almost— that has kept me from doing that. And so it feels like instead of being stuck in this loop, instead of being bent and continue to like contort that— That, that the spigot basically opens.
Amy Babish:
Yep. And, you know, I had briefly taken a sneak peek at your website when you shared your signature with me, and I got the really big knowing that this is going to impact your work in the world. So, which is of a lilt of this kind of expression. So Okay, so when I, when I read your form, and when I started to tune in, interestingly enough, I got that this is— it deals with a life agreement that is outside of the Akashic Record.
Rosia:
Hmm.
Amy Babish:
And so you have a lot of knowledge about a lot of these things, and our listeners sometimes do and sometimes don't. So for those of you who don't know what an Akashic Record is, Humans have, it's kind of like a library, an esoteric library, each of us have one. And so in our human soul's evolution, we can, we can go to the records, you can learn to go to your own records, and there's people who read the records. And you can learn kind of what you signed up for, and what you signed up for in the past. And as I have been read into the work that I do now, I have learned that there are records outside of the Akash. There are libraries and not even libraries, but places where these agreements live outside of the records.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And what we're working on for you with this bending and whatever, like, it feels like a record skipping to me. Like, we keep going back to the same— like, I grew up with a record player. I think I'm a little bit older than you. And when the records had a skip on it, I was like, can no one else hear this in this house? Like, this is, like, intense. And it feels like whatever this is related to for you is quite ancient. Like, I feel that really, really, really ancient, um, and it feels like it's from the original lifetime.
Rosia:
I totally feel that. It— I've, I've done a few Akashic Records, um, myself, like through a mentor and a coach, but also myself, and It's never been there.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
Rosia:
And so this makes so much sense because it, it doesn't even feel like, you know, interdimensional. It feels like beyond. It feels very essence and very like kind of at the beginnings. And yeah, yeah, this all feels very spot on.
Amy Babish:
So, you know, there's, there's some people who are simply human. Like, they sign up for human life, they come from human blood, always human blood. And that's like they stayed in that lane. And there's, there's not a hierarchy, there's no right or wrong. And what we're dealing with, with you, and that's most of the people that come to see me, is that we're in a time where form and formlessness meets. It's at the edge, the outer edge of what we might call like known and unknown realities and universe. And so essence is exactly the word that they teach me around it. It's like when, when you were in essence, and it's like a lot of— there's a lot of innate intelligence. It's not like what we think of as like, you know, in science, the science talks about it as like, just like aimless particles. It's not that. So there are aimless particles, but you were not an aimless particle. And what, what I am The way that I understand it is that in this place where you made this agreement, it's kind of like there's no consequences. And so here, like, if you imagine something traveling from the outer realms of anything we could ever imagine all the way down to the human Earth, that's like a lot of compounding. And so it's compounded into your human body.
Rosia:
Mm-hmm.
Amy Babish:
So your essence is big, and I have a sense you deeply know that about yourself. But then the complexity of the essence and the origins of it, we don't have any point of reference for it. Like, no matter who I work with, myself included, it is really hard to wrap your head around. Like, you have traveled through many lifetimes, many journeys, many paths, many experiences, and even in this lifetime, you've had a big life. So trying to like suss out from a human place what this is, is really hard to do. So I'm grateful that we are at this place of like, you used that word right away. And for anyone listening, you don't have to understand it, but some part of everybody I work with, they innately know this. They might not have the word for it, but you just There's a deep knowing that this is not our regular stuff.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So sometimes when I work with people, um, at that, in that like area of the known and unknown universe, they made agreements that were against recommendations, and this is actually not one of those. So that also tells me this is really, um, a different kind of agreement. So sometimes when you are a big essence, you just know, like, I have so much to offer. Most people that I work with, they're like, I'm going to take on all of the hard things for extra credit. That's the best way to talk about it. It's like, I'm so— I have so many gifts, I have so many great things, and kind of like Everything Everywhere All at Once, I think at those origins, we sometimes— we somehow have a sense of like the domino effect, the ripple effect of how many lifetimes we're going to have. And we don't understand consequence, so we can't really understand what hard means also. So that's like the irony of it.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Sure, I can, I can work on that. Sure, I can do that. Yeah, yeah, like I got that. It is in our it is in our naivete sometimes that we just didn't know what we signed up for. So I don't know how this kind of first layer lands in, in you when I name it this way.
Rosia:
It makes so much sense, and a word that I have just been circling around since, I mean, as long as I can remember, like as a kid asking why. I always felt like an entity and an essence, and it just always felt like this expression, this, this thing, this, this origin version of what that energy should be and where it likes to go. Um, I don't know if you're familiar with the Enneagram, but there's this one called the Enthusiast, and they do all the things all of the time. Um, and just very easily inspired and wanting to do everything. And like you said, the extra credit of it all. Um, so everything is landing fully, and it feels, it feels bright, like the word that's coming mind is bright as it relates to—
Amy Babish:
And that's what my office looks like. We are on another— we're in another universe, and it is really bright. And there's no, like, when I look out my other window, it's like a bright sunny day. So it's not like this color anywhere else other than right behind me. So I feel like we're in the place of your origins, and it's very bright. It's not scary. It's not eerie. It's like, this is really bright. And I'm like, Okay, we're in a new place. Um, so it's bright there, and I, I do, I do have a sense that you are a time bender. So I know it's like, I'm like, I can't believe I have to say these things out loud on the interwebs. Like, oh goodness, this is when I'm like, oh, is my—
Rosia:
I love this for us.
Amy Babish:
My 15-year-old will be like, this is so cringe, Mama.
Rosia:
So we embrace cringe, okay?
Amy Babish:
Like, we sometimes we have to because it's for the benefit of the whole. It's benefit for your whole, but also for all the people who are like, what is really happening? I don't understand this, and there's no place I can Google this. There's no person that I can ask about it. And so this is truly a public service for many people who find this at whatever point in time they find it, because there are time walkers, there are time benders, All those things are real, and it's not like it's in the masses. So that's the difference. Like, there's a bit of truth in every story, in every movie, and a lot of those things are, um, not exactly what they write about, but some of those things are legit. So I have a sense that you— one of your gifts was bending time.
Rosia:
Mm-hmm.
Amy Babish:
And it was like so heartfelt. And that is like part of your essence. And I didn't know I was going to talk about this today, but there is kind of like the schema or the lexicon that I've been given around it is that there are divine ones. And so the place of it, I can tell you after we're done recording because that's not to be spoken on the interwebs, but In this place, they are like energetic spheres. And so you were one of the original energetic spheres, and you were the Divine Time Bender.
Rosia:
Yeah, yeah, it's just flush, like every— like the visceral part of everything just activated.
Amy Babish:
And I, I, I was not to know that before. And so oftentimes People will send me messages like, am I this?
Rosia:
Am I that?
Amy Babish:
I'm like, or is she that? Or is he that? I'm like, I cannot— I'm not like, I'm not pulling back curtains. It's a very sacred process to be able to share that with you. And as the Divine Time Bender, you had an awareness of things that was, you know, solely through your lens. But we were in the, we were in the divinity of wholeness. And so everything belongs. And that is part of constellation work, is like everything belongs and nothing is omitted. And interestingly enough, this is also related to your process. I have another client who wrote me a prayer today, and she— it's not for me, but she's like, you can share this with anybody and give me any feedback on it. And so the feedback, like, 2 things stood out, but the one that they want me to share with you is she was kind of writing, like, around the prayer, like, may people find their, like, highest good and the light. And it's not that we're not asking for the highest good and light, but that is a bit confused. The aim is really wholeness. Because when we're looking for the highest light, or the highest good, sometimes the highest good isn't really good for you or for all. So there's something about being the Divine Time Bender where you understood wholeness in a really different way, because you're the first one that I've met that does not have any of these, um, we call them AMAs. Like, just like when you go to the hospital these days, people are being pushed out all the time. And to, to go to the hospital and say, I want to leave, before you're released is, again, that is the acronym is Against Medical Advice. And so the AMA agreements at this kind of outer, outer edges of known and unknown reality are quite like dug in, and they were against other beings. Like another being would say like, please don't do this. And the Divine Ones, we kind of dug in like, this is the answer to everything. And so there's a big list. of people that I've worked with that were really dug in around their gifts, and you don't have that. And so you're the, you're the first person I've met like this, so that's pretty amazing.
Rosia:
Yeah, that feels so real. Um, I've always felt extremely connected to everything, like on a cellular level, where it's very difficult for me to see to see difference and why. Why is there difference and why is there this inability to see how we're actually all one? And it's something that I feel so deeply, but it's just there. It's— I don't even have to call upon it. It's just there. And it's how I write my poems and how I write my day-to-day work and the strategies and research. It's always about this underlying thing that is just so obvious to me, and it, it's so hard for me to see how it's so not obvious to most. Yeah. And, and to your point about the AMA, um, even from that form, I was like, this doesn't feel like just this contract. It doesn't just feel like this, this thing that it's like, oh, you weren't supposed to do this, or this is a curse, or this is— it didn't ever feel like Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, so I mean, people come to me for spiritual warfare, for psychic attacks, like for all curses, you name it. Like, that, that is my, one of my calling cards among many things. But it was not any of those things. So, um, I'm going to give another layer of context. So with life agreements, we have beneficial life agreements, we have neutral life agreements, we have ones that are not so great. And then not everybody has the AMAs, but some many people that come to see me do. Um, and so the group that we're in for you is the ones that are not so great. Like, I cannot know about everyone's, but the people that I am supposed to— I have a life agreement with you, and I'm supposed to help you with this. And it's like kind of like of the little— of the extra credit. Like, I thought this was a good idea. I thought that we're like taking this on was going to be really beneficial. So it was different than— I talk about good intentions sometimes. So good intentions in the work that I do oftentimes deny the humanity of someone or something else. So it's like by omission, we're denying the wholeness because it's like my good intentions over other things.
Rosia:
Hmm.
Amy Babish:
And so this is not that. That's also quite unique. So when I kind of sit with what you wrote, there's something about— it is exactly that. It's about timing. So I know that you're right on time. They tell me that, like, you're right on time because we have been kind of orbiting each other for, I don't know, some time. And when Our mutual contact reached out and said, is this still open for her? I said yes. And so when I do these kind of— when I do AMA agreements, it is like the, the best explanation is just like in Zen Buddhism. The, the doors open when you're able to work on something. The spiritual doors open. And so even though this is not an AMA, the spiritual doors are open for you to do this now. So I don't know why. I'm not allowed to know the why. Um, the why is sometimes not even important, but there's something about why we need to do it now that is, um, what I would call like in the now. So I, I believe that you understand the now, but for those people listening that don't understand the now, when people talk about time, I think we have enough quantum physics knowledge in our modern times to understand that time is fabricated. And so past, present, future, and concurrent are like fractures of the whole. And so what they, they really emphasize, the guidance is to emphasize the now. And so there's something about time bending that is at the cog of the now.
Rosia:
Mm-hmm.
Amy Babish:
So With, with everything that you journeyed with, with like your personal, but then with kind of like your work in the world and your artistry. And that's this lifetime, but I can feel like the totality of all of your lifetimes that are interwoven because we're in the now. There's something about It feels like a weaving of something. It almost feels like kind of the opposite of what I usually get. It's like something that was meant to be bent that wasn't bent. And so it almost feels like this is like completely opposite of what I do. People usually overdo it. It feels like you maybe underdid it.
Rosia:
Yeah, that feels very spot on. Um, that hall monitoring, the— I know, I like— my knowing is so just pointed all the time. Like, it's like, no, no, no. Like, I know it, like the knowledge of it, and it's very much underdone. Like, it's like, I know I probably need to do this, But I shouldn't do that much. Very much a— is it— I don't know if it's— the thing that came up was, is it supposed to be me? Was the first— was something that came up. But from that, like, original lifetime, it feels like it was a second-guessing of some sort of Or should it be this way? Like, am I like— yeah, something like some— that's what's coming up.
Amy Babish:
I think that— I mean, the way that they explained it to me is kind of like they were conferences. Like, we would come together and we would confer about things, and some of the more like righteous ones or know-it-alls, or some of the— like, they even tell me, like, they literally told some people like, whoa there, missy, like Like, they would say these things. We would say these things to each other and not words, but this is the words that I'm given. And I can feel just like in a classroom, there are introverted people and there's extroverted people. And I feel like you kind of just like watched some of us like baffle our way through some of this stuff. And you're like, nah, nah, brah, this is not for me. And so I feel like even then, you kind of just watched and you're like, this isn't how it's supposed to be.
Rosia:
Yeah, it feels like a, I'm, I'm just gonna pass, like, I'll unsubscribe, you all deal with whatever you want to deal with. And in that, just kind of denying the purpose of that, and like energy, that, that essence, that, um, the part that I was supposed to like actually be and, and run and yeah.
Amy Babish:
Contribute. Yeah.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So when, when we have these attributes, it's oftentimes like when they're in the rightful place, then it's, it's a contribution to the whole. And when we hold it back, just like when people overdo it, it's overdone. When we underdo it, it's like always missing. And so I feel like part of what's happening with whatever agreement you made, that It's hooking itself on, we need more. It's like we need— when I even visually kind of see the record of an arm, the arm of a record player, it's like, pick me up and move me to a different place on this record. It feels like that.
Rosia:
Like just letting it skip, like just letting it be stuck in that moment and not actually moving it to its next. To your point, like the time bending, it's like, I'm not going to pick it up and move it into its next little, like, divot. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And it's like there's some things that only that energy or that intelligence can help with. And a lot of people in modern times are stressed with time. So if you perhaps were holding back some of your ingredients for people who really need more time, This is part of that.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And I, you know, I work with many people where they— where I don't teach them quote-unquote time management, but I teach them to tap into the energy of timelessness. And there always is ample time to do what, what you need and even sometimes what you want to do. And I feel like you, you offering that freely It feels like it might unlock something for some really important processes.
Rosia:
I battle, I feud with time all the time in my current life.
Amy Babish:
It's—
Rosia:
I both like know that time is obviously, it's nothing. Like, to me, I'm like, time is made up. and I feel across time. But when it comes to daily, like, just, you know, in the autopilot of it all, you know, the, oh, I'm a day-to-day, this is my job, this is what I do— time and I are not friends.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
Rosia:
I'm such an energy resource person, and so I am always constructing all of these timelines. I'm a big project manager and a big planner down to the minute. So I'm always battling with time all day.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, so it feels like, um, you have had to become overly reliant on that because you were unwilling to, like, open the spigot for time bending.
Rosia:
Exactly. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And it feels, it feels like, um, like the temporal nature of time is somehow related to the throat chakra.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Because it feels like it's related to— like, I can feel your claircognizance. Like, that is definitely when we are right on time. There's a knowing, like, we're right on time. Like, I'm right on time. This is right on time. And like, I thought you're like 5 years late, but like, this is right on time. Like, it just— you can drop it. Like, it drops in like a plumb line. But I feel like the column of your essence, it feels like maybe the knob is at your, like, your, the base of your throat.
Rosia:
That feels true.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, very true. And so sometimes when we made these agreements, I don't, I don't know, I cannot begin to comprehend the complexity of it, but it's, it's kind of like in some of these agreements we agreed to Change them, like, at a certain time. I know that's, like, very ironic, but the AMAs are different. So this is not an AMA, but this is one of them where you have— this has been a pain in your butt. This has not been easy.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Right? So that's important to highlight to everybody. Like, the AMAs are treacherous, but this is, like, one degree less.
Rosia:
Yeah, it, it was almost like, uh, an insidious comfort.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
Rosia:
But it was, you know, I could tell it was something that wasn't allowing me to be truly at my core, in my fullness. Um, but there was something comfortable about it. Because it's familiar. Yeah, and it felt chosen. Like, to your point about time, when our mutual, um, contact let me know about this opportunity, at first I was like, I had this visceral response of defiance, indignance, a very big indignation. Uh, like, it felt like this, like, cosmic battle. And then And then it just whooshed over me, and the next day or the day after, I was like, it's time.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah. And in my humility, you know, I have not always been this, um, whole being, and even in this lifetime. So I definitely have overdone it. I have definitely overdone it. Um, and my kind of The undoing and the unraveling of my AMA agreements is the right size of my guidance to know that it's not my guidance. It's like through me, it's not by me. And so, even though I know that I have agreement with you, and this was brought up a while ago, I can't, I can't wish it, I can't pray it, I can't manifest it. I'm like, I'm standing by, and it's maybe this lifetime or maybe it's not.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So I'm like, this is your choice. It is your— that is the thing about being human, is free will. And, um, the defiance sounds like right on, like, fuck you, Amy. Like, whatever essence you were, fuck this shit.
Rosia:
I was like, I don't know, we had cosmic beef.
Amy Babish:
Oh, uh, oh, oh. That's for the after show. We will talk about that one. But I, um, I've had multiple iterations of, um, how I overdid it. And, um, when we overdo it, we oftentimes meddle.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And good intentions are oftentimes involved in meddling. I think I know better. I think I know best. And you saw that and you were like, I'm not touching that with a 10-foot pole.
Rosia:
And, and the consequences of underdoing it though, I would— I mean, it's not— it doesn't look the same, but it, it still meddles in a way by not being in it.
Amy Babish:
Yes.
Rosia:
It still changes outcome.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, you're still meddling with what was supposed to be within the wholeness. So for those people who are like— those people that raised their hand first and the You know, but the people who are raising their hands first are like, I only speak up because no one else is speaking up. So it's like we're part of the whole, right? So to have the humility that, like, we've all tried it in different ways when we have these, like, really ginormous gifts and essences and contributions. And one of, one of my friends and colleagues and peers She says that, like, we're all a part of this big acupuncture mat, and we all have one needle to put into the big universe. And so, like, we all work as a team. And so when we're not putting our needle in, we're also, like, screwing up everything. And we have to work as a team. And when we also insist that our needle is better than everyone else's or the only needle, then we're also messing up the team. Because we don't acknowledge other people's gifts. So all points are a part of the whole. They work as a— they work in union. And I think it's the humility that your life will change. It's like, are you— are you— yeah, how does that land?
Rosia:
Super deep, especially in the non-meddling, like the denial of my you know, little pin, you know, like the denial of that part, which is so ironic considering my obsession with everything is together and whole and we're all everything, you know. So it's, it's very interesting that, that, um, I'm contradicting myself by, by denying or shelving— like shelving feels correct—
Amy Babish:
Okay.
Rosia:
Like shelving the part of it that I'm supposed to have. So yeah, it lands. It lands.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And it feels like the hall monitor was almost like a distraction. Like a hall monitor often is. Like, I'm just going— I'm going to my next class. I'm going to the bathroom. Leave me alone.
Rosia:
Yes. Yes. And it's so funny, the image of the conference room and the meeting and all of it. at some point something jaded, like something felt jaded, and it, it felt of no consequence. That's the phrase that comes up, is like no consequence, and just this like, this like, oh, I'm just gonna relinquish.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Oh yeah, because we, we couldn't— that was that, that was the complexity. We couldn't understand the impact that was we are going to have. And we had no idea. We had no idea. And some sideways stuff has really happened from that.
Rosia:
Mm-hmm.
Amy Babish:
And, you know, spiritual warfare is real, and this is not spiritual warfare. It is meddling. It's something different. And so meddling also creates a sideways experience. So, um, Blockages.
Rosia:
Yeah, the sneaky one is harder to sniff out because it's just, you know, kind of flying under the radar.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah. And it's like when, when people— many people come and they ask, is this a good thing or a bad thing? And it's neither. It's like it's part of the, the whole, and we need to know like what, what your right size is in the right place. And right role. So yours is a dialing up and, like, allowing it to be in the now versus it feels like you've, you've kind of been like, it feels like it's like a suspended slingshot that's, like, held back there.
Rosia:
Yes. Yes. Because I feel like all of the energy is all there. You know, and it's— but it doesn't know, it's not being actively used. So then it just kind of seeps out in different ways. Um, that, that is the perfect image of just kind of being right here suspended at that pole. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And, and that's exhausting. Like, if you, you know, if you're holding back a bow and arrow or you're holding back a slingshot, that takes a lot of energy to withhold or suspend or to wait. Like, that can be painful too.
Rosia:
Yeah, absolutely.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah.
Rosia:
So ever holding your breath.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, and whatever, whatever that original knowing was, I feel like, um, you probably have gotten the lessons in this lifetime.
Rosia:
Oh yeah.
Amy Babish:
So I feel, you know, for many people around this kind of like ancient, ancient, ancient agreement, We have come and iterated in many lifetimes, like, I'm going to try it again, I'm going to try it again. So I have a clear sense that you have tried to use your voice, turn up the dial in many lifetimes, and it just wasn't it because you weren't willing to reveal this. And I feel it in my heart when I say that.
Rosia:
It made my stomach sink.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And You knew that you were this every time, but you were like, I'm gonna just hold that back.
Rosia:
Yes, it's, it's very clear. Um, it feels— it, it like makes my stomach turn, and I'm trying to— it feels, it feels like a little bit of a block. Um, like, um, there's something I'm not saying.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
Rosia:
Been, I mean, since ancient times that, uh, yeah, it's just completely like, um, fortressing.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So it feels like it was— it's not a vow, but it was like a— like these things are not even— they don't even exist out there. But whatever it is, it feels like, like a bowing out where you were like, I refuse. I'm just— you can't make me. That's what I kind of hear. You can't make me.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
That's in the solar plexus. So in another modality I use, it's developmental somatic pattern work, and it's the 3rd pattern, and it happens in human life around, depending on your childhood, between ages 1.5 and 3, and it's called the enduring pattern. And that's my primary pattern as a human. And the enduring pattern is when you have to submit. You can't, you can't say no. You can't wear weird clothes. You can't do it your way.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So you learn a reflexive yes, and it's not a true yes. And you cannot have a true no until you have a true yes. And what happens is then you end up hiding your essence underground. When you go into overwhelm. And the gifts of this pattern are that you have more stamina and loyalty than many, like stamina and loyalty for, for days and years and miles. But when we endure, we, we hold it in.
Rosia:
As you said that, I actually got a big gas bubble that went like— I was like, okay, come out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amy Babish:
So it's not— this is not necessarily from your human life, but from the energetic, um, spiritual, metaphysical place you went into enduring. And with enduring, we don't do what's good for us, and then we do what's not good for us.
Rosia:
Yeah, it's that, um, like, to your point, the yes and the no. Like, when you don't have a true yes, you don't have a true no. Um, There's something there around that, that people pleasing, that sure, sure, yes, yes, okay, I'll do everything for everyone kind of thing. Um, and to that kind of original need to be a part of, um, and do my part in, I think there was something about, um, a denial that— a denial of the way the gift should be Or, or the, the denial of the way it was supposed to exist. Um, and as this lifetime specifically, the way it comes out is it's very much in, in people pleasing, and I'm being burnt out, and, you know, just kind of doing what I think I'm supposed to be doing, but then being very resentful of it because I'm not doing what I want to do. And then just kind of living in that record of repeating that, repeating that I should be doing this, but denying it at the same time.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So the, the no has to come yet first, and then when the no comes, then the true yes is available. And so a reflexive yes is never like The Year of Yes. I was like, oh, that's not a good book. Please don't. People are— they need The Year of No. They need the year of fuck you. This isn't working. I can't give anymore. I'm not going to get to the place of resentment before I say no. Resentment is not a no.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
So, you know, it's humility of when whatever that convention experience was where you're like, this is overwhelming, whatever this is, this is not what I thought it was going to be. Um, you, you didn't want to. Yeah, there wasn't, um, you know, part of the design of that experience is like we're all kind of connected and autonomous at the same time, so we didn't understand.
Rosia:
Yes, exactly. And what's so Silly. And silly feels like the perfect word because it feels like it just— it's so obvious now. But that literally we were made— we were made like in, in this.
Amy Babish:
We were.
Rosia:
Exactly as we were supposed to, exactly as made sense for us, exactly as like our energies set out to buzz in the way that they wanted to buzz. So it was very much us.
Amy Babish:
Oh, yes.
Rosia:
And not necessarily we were molded into this very specific function. Yet in that moment when I relinquished, denied, you know what, I'm just gonna kind of— y'all do whatever you want, um, of it. Like, it's so silly because my beef with it was that you're trying to tell me how to do it, how to be. When we just became, right?
Amy Babish:
Yes, that's a— yeah, it was, it was from the ethers that we came. Yes, we, we, we, we were not doers, we were not even be-ers, we just allowed and then we became. It's the reverse. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rosia:
Because it felt very much like this, just this this just this in this stubbornness of, I don't want to do what you tell me to do.
Amy Babish:
Mm-hmm.
Rosia:
But I was, I just was. And this, this silliness of separating the wholeness, of saying, you're telling me how I am when we just are. So I created restriction, I created definition, I put all these layers And assigned meaning to it.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Huh. And, and for a really long time, you said, you can't make me, and I'm not going to. And a lot of us were like, please come on back. We really need you. We really need you. And we really want you. And so many need you. Throughout time, space, and dimension.
Rosia:
Yeah, my bad.
Amy Babish:
So it's like, yeah, and this, this might land for people listening. So many people in relationship, if it's a work relationship or a partnership or a family or a friendship, there's so much story around they don't need this, I'm gonna just hold this back. It is so detrimental.
Rosia:
Yeah, absolutely. It's the thing that is needed most.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we hold back, it is like cataclysmic in some, some places.
Rosia:
Literally that. That's the word that popped up. I was like, we are changing things and not for the better by holding back.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah. So some of us overdo it, so that's not We're not talking about that because some of, some of us do need a little bit of tempering. That's other people. But for people in your camp, um, holding back, we're keeping the world, the universe, the known and unknown universe from something that is desperately needed.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And I have a client that's a male. He's an engineer. And he's like, I just think what we do sometimes is metaphors, Amy. And now he's like physical metaphors kind of thing. So it's like he, he dips in, but it's just like, even if this is just a metaphor, it's a big metaphor.
Rosia:
Yes. Yeah.
Amy Babish:
And it's— it has a vibrational, energetic, spiritual, metaphysical impact.
Rosia:
Mhm.
Amy Babish:
Because you have searched and you have looked under many a rock, you looked in many a library, And it doesn't— it hasn't, like, started to unlock until we got to this configuration.
Rosia:
Yeah, exactly. And yeah, whether it's a metaphor or not, it is here.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, it's happening, and your body is responding, and my body is responding. Yep. And my office is responding. And so, you know, I'm not here to tell anybody what the truth is, and many people are seeking so deeply for something that it is not. And, you know, modern Western postmodern, post-empire, postcolonial thought is like, oh, it's because of this, it's because of that. And oftentimes these roots are so deep that it's like, this is the current configuration, but the roots of it are so, so deep. And we all played a part.
Rosia:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
We all played a part. We all Meddled in some way.
Rosia:
Yes. And we're all dancing this dance.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And people need to be held accountable, but we also need to, like, step up too. Yeah.
Rosia:
No, that's something that is falling on, um, hearing ears.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. So it's, it's not that there's not— I definitely want for accountability, but the accountability has to start with me first. And holding back a ginormous contribution, a ginormous gift, is not doing you any, like, any good. And it's also not like— this is not about should. It's like, this is a very subtle, energetic, spiritual process.
Rosia:
Mhm.
Amy Babish:
And it's coming to, like, the— I can feel it's, like, so sacred and so holy. Like, that's the word I would use, like, holy Not H-O-L-Y, but W-H-O-L-L-Y. Like, it's a whole— it's a holy but double meaning, holy, holy, holy thing. And I feel like we're— we just passed the Perseid meteor shower, and I feel like the stars will, like, just rain down on you.
Rosia:
Feel that.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. I feel like you're going to get some kind of confirmation that's going to blow your mind. I don't know what it's going to be. I don't know what it's going to be, but I feel like you're going to know it and you're going to not be confused by it. And it's going to be a complete affirmation of the spout is open. And you're going to notice time bending for others, and they're going to tell you wild things. And I'll probably write to you and be like, Rosia, you're not gonna believe my whole group bended time this year. Yes.
Rosia:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
And, you know, different people will write me all these things like, I had a dream last night, or this thing happened, and they kind of, you know, there's no one, there's no one else they could say these things to. So I'll be like, that's called time bending, and there's a Divine Time Bender. Listen to episode, I don't know what we're on, like 65 on my podcast. Um, so it is a gift for people to have a place, like a place to like wrap their brain around with this because we can bend time. And when we're in flow, the time bending is there. But when, when you're holding it back, it's much harder to tap into the flow.
Rosia:
Yeah, absolutely. It was interesting in this last like 2 or 3 minutes, it felt like an eyelid was removed.
Amy Babish:
Yeah.
Rosia:
It's like just the level of clarity, like if I just got like the perfect pair of glasses or I just got, you know, Lace it. Like, it didn't even feel like a haze. And now it's full sun out as well.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Yeah. And your eyes have gotten so— like, you have these beautiful bright brown eyes. Like, they have just like illuminated throughout our conversation. And I can feel like when we talk in Taoism about the heart, the heart holds Um, like your essence. And so when your essence is fully in your heart, we say like the light of the universe is coming through your eyes. And we call it the Shen. It's like a, it's a red cardinal. Um, but I can feel like you had a lot of the light of the universe coming through you before we even started this conversation. But I can feel it's just like it's, it's sparkling. Yeah, I can feel it. I can feel it.
Rosia:
It, it has felt like sludge for a really long time. Like this, um, like I would describe it almost like, um, just like— I don't know, have you ever seen FernGully?
Amy Babish:
I have, a long time ago.
Rosia:
Do you remember Tim Curry's role, that like oil thing?
Amy Babish:
Yes.
Rosia:
It has felt like that has just been holding me like at the shins. Um, and I don't, I don't feel it. I feel like I've been so grounded for so long in not, uh, oh, I'm, I'm here and present, not that kind of grounding. I have felt like deplaned, like it has felt like, like a plane that was supposed to be flying has been, you know, stuck.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, you've been taxiing or Sitting on a hot plane that smells.
Rosia:
Yeah, exactly. Just a sludge, just holding, just weighted.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And that's what enduring can feel like. It's so much stagnation, and it's like, this feels so immovable. It feels immovable.
Rosia:
Yeah, it felt like a, um, uh, Not a destiny. It felt like, like, uh, the way that I chose it, it felt like this is, this is what I'm like. I'm supposed— like, I can't— it's not destiny. It's not like this claiming of an identity. It just, it felt— and it didn't feel like a curse. It just felt like I chose This is, this is where I'm supposed to be. It'll come. There's, there's something, there's something there about the phrasing that I think is gonna come. Yes.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Another feeling that can happen when we have that, that energetic pattern of enduring, it can feel like we're hiding under a cover. And when you hide under covers, after a while it's like hot and sweaty. No one can see you, but we know you're under there.
Rosia:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
But you're like, no one can see me.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Like, that can be a different kind of stagnation. You're like, this is sticky and gross in here now. Yes. And you're like, I'm gonna eventually pull the cover down and come out. I don't know when, but I will. Yeah.
Rosia:
Ah, yeah, this is gross. Why am I still here?
Amy Babish:
Yeah, that's a big, a big part of it. It's like, why do I keep on saying yes to things that aren't really aligned for me?
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
Like, it's kind of gross now.
Rosia:
Yes. Yeah. Just sitting in your own, like, little, like, ugly, like, weird sauna of, like, your sauna of stagnation. And, like, nobody told you to go in there.
Amy Babish:
Yes. And the people who don't carry a lot of enduring, they're like, just get up and do something, or, like, just figure it out. And they're very impatient. Those are the people that went first that overdid it. And it's like, this is a mirror to the other side of this. It's the same coin, a different side.
Rosia:
Yeah, it feels very— I mean, obviously everything's interconnected, but it feels very much like this, this, you know, meddling, not meddling, all of this, like this ping pong of it. When somebody stops and the other person's like, oh, well, let me go ping pong on the other side because this person left. And so you're there running, trying to keep the ball moving. So I think there's just this amount of repercussion of not holding my paddle or being there to receive and there to continue to move forward. So it feels like I— there's something for the after show. It feels like there's something.
Amy Babish:
Definitely. Yeah, yeah. It's like I now realize, like, there are a lot of— like, what they show me is like the ripping of the fabric in the reality of wholeness.
Rosia:
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Amy Babish:
And yeah, holding back or overdoing it, neither of the options are recommended.
Rosia:
None. No. And then the fabric itself ends up losing not only its luster and its wholeness, but it loses its, its strength and pliability.
Amy Babish:
Yes.
Rosia:
Without, you know, whether it's all these people holding back, like in our everyday lives, all of this effort of not— of withholding the thing that's inside of us that we know, like in our guts, in our hearts, the thing that we just want to say but we All of these daily little micro moments are in this— this— it have this ability to strengthen and become pliable. Um, or there's just these little rips and these little, like, the thread is like reaching over this little empty hole. Um, when we do hold back, and then somebody's there trying to mend it.
Amy Babish:
And you're like, my job isn't mending, but I have to mend this. Yeah, right. This can't be ripped.
Rosia:
Yeah.
Amy Babish:
In constellation work, we also talk about there must always be a place at the table for the messy, inconvenient truth.
Rosia:
Mm-hmm.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. And a lot of people that hold back, they think that they're, quote unquote, keeping the peace. Like, I don't want to deal with this mess.
Rosia:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
The peace is not peace unless it's whole. And there has— everything has to belong, including the messy and inconvenient truth about what I did. Not what you did, what I did. There's, there's some coughing happening as, as I say that. It's okay to cough on here. We swear on here. We cough on here. We cry on here. We laugh on here.
Rosia:
That was not just a regular cough. That was like a A deep, uh, prime life.
Amy Babish:
Uh, look, look, listen to that.
Rosia:
Replay that. Yes.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Yeah.
Rosia:
Oh my goodness. This idea of keeping the peace, but not actually keeping it by not— when it's not whole. That is huge.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. Yeah. I come from, uh, people of holding back people. Like, keep the peace. And it's, it's not really peace unless it's whole. And no one's at peace when they have to stuff things down.
Rosia:
This feigned idea of peace, this lack of conflict, this lack of, of this, this just like, oh, um, I'm gonna bow out.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, to keep external conflict, but you have so much internal conflict when you hold, when you stuff it down. And stuff it down.
Rosia:
Yeah. And this, this idea that, oh, well, if it's not affecting the outside, it doesn't affect anyone. But it very much— all of it inside is affecting everything.
Amy Babish:
Yeah. When you, when you hold in your stuff, then the ripple effect externally, you might not visually see it, but it's— we're all interconnected.
Rosia:
Yeah. That's so powerful.
Amy Babish:
Yep. Yeah, and that is so terrifying for so many women, for so many people who grew up in cultures like that, families like that, religions like that, communities like that. And the price that is paid goes way beyond one person or one family system or one, one community.
Rosia:
That's beautiful, and that is so true. It's You just think about like everyday life and how separate we've led ourselves to believe, and, you know, everyday difficulties to major conflicts on this world. And you can't have peace if it's not whole. And this idea of separation keeps us from being— from having peace.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, because— yeah. And people that think that they're valuing peace, they're actually valuing separation.
Rosia:
Yes, yes, it's, it's this, this little, you know, wolf in sheep's clothing. It, it's this feigned idea. It looks very nice, but it's actually the antithesis of it.
Amy Babish:
I work a lot with peacebuilding, a lot of people in high-conflict areas, and when the unresolved victim lineage or victim experience wants peace at the cost of punishment, it's not peace.
Rosia:
Yes.
Amy Babish:
And so it also means that you cannot hold back the messy and inconvenient truth. But whole is— whole can actually be quite different than peace, because when, when we are in the wholeness, our whole system relaxes. You can breathe. Truth— when truth is named, even if it's really messy and fucked up, Your body will breathe. So nervous system regulation, like, sometimes just say the GD truth.
Rosia:
Yes. Um, you— I mean, when we're together, when we're not separate anymore, like, we reach homeostasis because we, like, yes, we kind of floated around, we did our own thing, and, you know, all these things have become over time, but Intrinsic, like all of like the just like there's this intrinsic thing that we will always try to find each other. We will always try to, like, to your point, the acupuncture kind of visual. All of us are looking for that.
Amy Babish:
We all belong together to do this together.
Rosia:
Yep.
Amy Babish:
We might not like the way that you do it or your needle. Yeah, that's none of my business.
Rosia:
Yeah, exactly.
Amy Babish:
I'm not the boss of you, and you're not the boss of me.
Rosia:
And that's good and messy, and as it should be.
Amy Babish:
And that's the design. That's how we were designed.
Rosia:
Exactly. Yeah, we are designed in this polarity. So like, let's groove in the polarity of it.
Amy Babish:
And time bending is a missing ingredient. It's like a rarely tapped into, but like Esoteric, like it's the umami of divine ones. Like, there's an umami flavor? What's that? There's a time-bending flavor? So it's like, yeah, I've tapped into it occasionally in some lifetimes, but it's really— it's underutilized.
Rosia:
Yeah, uh, my bad.
Amy Babish:
Um, yeah, creatives need it. Creatives really need it.
Rosia:
Oh, yeah.
Amy Babish:
You know, people who are birthing babies, birthing projects, people who do conflict resolution, people who are being brave, they're like, I'm running out of time. It's like, let me just spend the time and, and say the brave thing. Let me ask for what I want. Let me ask for what I need. We, we waste so much time.
Rosia:
We do. Waiting, procrastinating.
Amy Babish:
What I should do, what you think I should do, what you want me to do. Just what, what do you want? Yeah, it was—
Rosia:
yeah, there have been moments where I deliberately slow down time, and I think I've always like played with it. Um, but to know that that is within immediate reach. Yes.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, sometimes you're like, I, I want these 10 minutes to last like 20 hours without drugs or substances.
Rosia:
Yeah, exactly.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, time can stand still with time bending.
Rosia:
Yeah. And there's so much that each time offers to the other, like, to your point of like, using it in active purpose, conflict resolution, or, you know, creativity, like, to be able to dabble and pull and connect and learn from and remember and be curious in your, um, in what else, what else you haven't encountered that on some deep level you know already, but you can be reminded of it.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah. And for people who feel like they're running out of time, I think I've heard Bonnie Rates in the nick of time more since you signed up for this podcast than in my whole life.
Rosia:
That is so funny.
Amy Babish:
I was like, in the nick of time. Like, I hear you. I'm like, is this for me? And they say yes. And it's about other things, and I just don't ever get what it was about. But it is about us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rosia:
I love when all of these little sprinkles just happen, and it's like, oh, that's what that was.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have anything else you want to name, or anything else you want to ask?
Rosia:
No, I, um, I don't have any questions. I have a lot of light that I just want people to know is theirs as well.
Amy Babish:
Yeah, it's shared. It's when you access your wholeness, it, it impacts the whole.
Rosia:
Yeah, and I look forward to feeling their light, whoever's listening.
Amy Babish:
Oh, I love that. For those of you who have journeyed with us in this, uh, Rocio prolific episode, uh, I hope that you are Curious about your own gifts, your own holding back, or your own overdoing it, and your own ability to access timelessness, time bending, expansion of time, expedition of time. And you might think it's magical thinking, and maybe it's not. So thank you, thank you, thank you for listening. And if you are curious about doing your own work with me, shoot me an email, amy@amybabish.com. And until we meet again, sending you blessings from the Doeg land that I steward outside of Washington, D.C. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.