Giving, Gifted, and Faith-filled and Struggling to Receive
“It does feel like we're at a precipice, a threshold, a tower, all of the things, and there's choice here.”
This is my first real conversation with today’s guest. The universe or the mystery connects us all in really incredible ways.
I name that specifically for today’s episode because I feel like the mystery connected us. I do not know how I found Zivar; she doesn’t know how she found me. And yet we have been in each other's realms for some time now.
When she reached out and asked to be on the podcast, I was a huge yes! I'm not allowed to work with everybody, but I am allowed to work with Zivar because I have a life agreement with her, which you’re going to hear all about in this conversation!
You’ll also discover the significance of the shofar for Zivar, the challenges she’s had around her gifts and her career, as well as what her life agreement was and the process we walked through for amending the agreement.
You’ll especially want to tune into this client session if you, too:
» having a lot of challenges in career and with your gifts
» have a hard time asking for anything in return
» are a mother who’s ready to go back out into the world
» have been paralyzed by intense fear at times
» you’re not receiving what you need
Topics covered in this podcast episode:
A check in with Amy on what she’s noticing happening in the world
What Amy notices with how the exchange of give and take is off
How the shofar (a musical instrument) ties in with Zivar’s intention
What unexpected event happened offline during the call
The difference between life agreements and ancestral entanglements
The various types of life agreements
How Amy helps people get to the root cause of what is playing out
Who you can have life agreements with (including yourself)
What happens to amend life agreements
What does it look like once life agreements are amended
What the integration process will be like for Zivar
Thank you for your willingness, to your field, and to the divine faith that you've carried for a long time.
For those of you who’ve joined us, if you have your own really frustrating or confusing things that continue to happen, and you've looked in your astrology chart or you've done a lot of personal inquiry or spiritual inquiry or gotten a lot of help around it and it just doesn't seem to budge, I invite you to contact me to explore where you might have your own AMA life agreement.
To explore your own life agreement process, you can always send me an email at: amy@amybabish.com
If this episode resonates, please leave a review on your favorite platform and share this episode with those who you think might benefit.
Until we meet again, I'm sending blessings from the Doeg land I steward.
Resources:
The unedited podcast transcript for this episode of The Soulful Visionary Podcast follows
Amy Babish (00:02)
Welcome to the Soulful Visionary Podcast. I am your host, Amy Babish, and I have a wonderfully somewhat new to me guest. welcome in Zivar. I'm so excited for you to be here. And I want to share a little context because Zivar and I, this is really our first conversation. We just had like a brief chat before coming on. But you know, the universe or the mystery connects us all and really.
Incredible ways. And I want to say that I'm almost going to cry. like tears are coming. I can feel them. I really feel like the mystery connected us because I literally don't know how I found you. And we have been like in each other's realms. I subscribe to Zivar's newsletter and I follow her on Instagram, and she reached out and asked to be on the podcast. And I was a huge yes. I'm allowed to work with you. I don't know how.
how closely you listen to my podcast or not, but I'm not allowed to work with everybody. So I only am allowed to work with the people that I have life agreements with.
Zivar (01:12)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (01:12)
So I have a life agreement with you.
Zivar (01:15)
I feel that. I also don't quite know how we found each other, but when we I found you, you felt very familiar.
Amy Babish (01:24)
Yeah, yeah. We have a lot of intersectionality between like our backgrounds and like our interests and our trainings. our lived experience, there's some similarities with, but there's a lot of differences between us two. so I want to just like presence that and name that that sometimes I'm literally just like in awe of the mystery of how it weaves
leaves things together. So thank you for your willingness and thank you for being here. Yeah.
Zivar (02:00)
Thank you.
Amy Babish (02:01)
Yeah. So we are recording on a huge storm day. We're in different areas of the United States and a huge storm front is coming in and it's gonna it's predicted to be like tremendous in both of our regions and it's already raining where Zivar is, it's not raining here outside of DC yet, but
I really felt like the clearing presence of the rain, like systemically, not just in the atmosphere, but I felt like a sacred cleansing was coming. and many, many, many moons ago, like over 22 years ago, I had the privilege of working with a man that was Persian. And he he he's he just explained like the rain, the rain is the mysteries.
way of lunching through tears.
Zivar (02:57)
Oof.
Amy Babish (02:58)
And I feel like we're in that time where there's so much struggle. And I've said to many clients, and I have groups, many different people in many different places. and even though I'm not a somatic trauma therapist anymore, that's always kind of been my bones. That this this summer, we're in the summer of 2026 when we're recording this, it has been.
almost one of the most tumultuous times of people's lives in in my lived lifetime. And I used to be a sex abuse and sex trafficking psychotherapist with kids and teenagers. So I've I've been on call, I've I know what that crisis points are like. And I feel like right now globally and universally we're in a we're in a crucible period and we're at the thresholds and there's a lot coming to the surface. So
We've just had the Canadian fires here. In the United States, we're having the rain. And I'm just in contact with a lot of people throughout the world who are in their own complex systemic fields. So that's kind of all that's present before we even dive deeply.
Zivar (04:15)
That's a lot.
Amy Babish (04:16)
Yeah,
it's a lot it's a lot. And I can feel it. I can notice kind of like the Venn diagram with you, even though not knowing you deeply, with you and what I notice across people's
Lives right now. Yeah.
Zivar (04:35)
It does feel like we're at a precipice, a threshold, a tower, all of the things and there's choice here.
Amy Babish (04:43)
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. So so we're we're we're going to move into your intention. And when you wrote, when you completed my intake form for the podcast, you were at point A and now you're at point B. So would you like to presence an iterative intention or do you feel like you're on the same one still?
Zivar (05:07)
I feel like I'm on the same one, but with more exposure to how to get there. but the intention that I have is I feel that I have quite a lot of gifts and for some reason I'm having a lot of challenges in career and how to best be in the river, I keep saying, of work and vocation.
And people receive so much, but I have a hard time asking for anything in return. And
Amy Babish (05:42)
And
Zivar (05:43)
making sense of a lot of awakeness to reciprocity and the health and well-being of the planet based on reciprocity, but knowing that I am actually not receiving what I need.
Amy Babish (05:58)
Yeah.
Zivar (05:59)
And so how to make sense of that in a way that also really respects.
How I feel about others and their paths and wanting to be of service, but be in prosperity and be in abundance and be in my own majesty, you know.
Amy Babish (06:16)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zivar (06:18)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (06:20)
So what I when I'm when I'm listening, you know, one of the one of the principles that I I notice in a lot of very gifted people is that the exchange of give and take is off. You have a lot to give, but it's hard for others to give to you and it's hard to take. And so I feel that. So we can kind of
presence or work through a bit more I don't know if you're you're seeking clarity or if you have a sense of like this is the shape and form of what I want my work to take or do you have anything like that that I could help tease out? You're shaking.
Zivar (07:07)
I feel like I have no clarity and it's so interesting because in other parts of my life I find that things come very easily to me. And this one just feels like foggy, I would say. Foggy, confusing, like I'm always stepping into a landscape of confusion.
Amy Babish (07:28)
Yeah. Yeah. And I feel what I sense from knowing you, I don't know, I think it's like maybe seven or eight months. I'm not sure it could be longer. reading and and like really being with what you're writing and sharing. I feel that you are really in flow. And then I I was just curious. I didn't know, you know, some people don't have to work and some people don't want to work. And so I could
Since when I got your intake form, that's not the case for you. That's you actually want to work and you want to make money and you want to be in exchange. So when I received your intake form, I kind of was guided. I don't, I'm not always guided this way, but I was guided to kind of be in more depth with your Instagram feed. And they want me to say out loud to you that like you have a a post, and I don't know how long ago it was.
Think was during the pandemic, but you are speaking about the shofar. And I could feel that like, and I don't mean this in a sacrilegious way, but I could feel that you've been the shofar.
Zivar (08:39)
Oof.
Amy Babish (08:41)
And there's something
Full body chills. Yeah, I have full body chills too and and you know, it feels
Tapu to say that out loud. Yeah. But it feels important to name with you that I think that your beingness, you're in a human body, but your beingness is from the mystery.
Zivar (09:06)
Mm-hmm.
Amy Babish (09:07)
And
I think that the reconciling of that when you go to then be in a very human exchange like payment, and it's not just energy and it's not just love and it's not just like source flowing through you. I think that there's something that's very complex. But I want to name that like your guides and the guides want me to share that with you first.
Zivar (09:41)
It's I'm I'm absorbing and realizing it and making sense of it.
Yeah, it's just I the so the post I remember was about the shofar as the instrument of expressing tears, like collective tears, collective sorrow, collective feeling. And my friends often joke about me that like some stranger will meet me and in the first three seconds will tell me their entire life story, and I almost become like the instrument that carries their pain. and
I love it and I appreciate people's stories. But A, like I need better hygiene, how to protect myself from it, but but I do feel sometimes that I receive a lot of stories, I receive a lot of tears, and then where is my space to to be received, to share, to be held? and I have really I have a few close friends and I have a wonderful partner, but
There's something missing for me in the collective field, and
Amy Babish (10:53)
Yeah.
Zivar (10:55)
I feel like a receptacle.
Amy Babish (10:57)
Yes, you're like a place a repository for that.
Zivar (11:01)
Yes.
Amy Babish (11:02)
And you're like, it's not really working anymore. So I think you're asking for you're asking for clarity, but you're also asking for we can find you know, we'll find the right words as we navigate this. It's not just an upgrade, but I feel like you're asking for like I I'd like to change my mind with the assignment.
Zivar (11:26)
Yes.
Amy Babish (11:28)
Like this might have seemed really great pre-incarnation, but now you're like, I have had my fill.
Zivar (11:35)
Good. Yeah,
Amy Babish (11:36)
Yeah.
Zivar (11:37)
I I do feel that way actually. It's it's interesting. In the portal, after you and I chose to meet, so many things unfolded. And in the midst of it, I had to buy a new car. And immediately when I got in the car with the person to test it out, he shared his complex divorce and life story without my permission. And I after I got out of the car, I felt inside of me, I cannot.
do this anymore. I don't want to like for a while it actually fed my ego. And it felt great like to be that person that people came to. And now I'm just like, this is it doesn't feel good anymore. It feels wrong actually.
Amy Babish (12:19)
Yeah, it's like being able to know that like you you you test drove being
Shafar adjacent.
Zivar (12:30)
Shofar adjacent.
Amy Babish (12:32)
Yeah. Yeah. So you you you test drove that. And I think in a in a postmodern culture where we talk about empathy and deeply listening, I think there's some confusion. Like you you named like this didn't happen with your consent. And before it did happen with your consent, but then it's just like this residual compounding density that you're living with. That's not
Zivar (12:53)
Yes.
Amy Babish (12:54)
that's like cannot has not found a way out and it's not you're not being it's not filtering through.
in a way that's life giving for you or for that person. Like they can't just like flop it there.
Zivar (13:08)
Yes. And it's interesting because the shofar is a ram's horn. And so we sacrifice the animal to have this tool that we use in the temple, whatever. And it's like what part of my wilderness and my animal spirit is sacrificed for others to be using me in this way.
Amy Babish (13:30)
And and and it one one time that was a great idea, but now it's not so great.
Zivar (13:35)
Yes. I mean it definitely was a it provided safety for me in many situations.
Amy Babish (13:41)
And you know, you write a lot about being Leo and we're on the threshold of Leo season today. So I was like, there are no coincidences of like
Zivar (13:51)
True.
Amy Babish (13:53)
What is what is happening? and when I when I was guided around that, like your innate like Leo fabulousness is being misperceived because of that willingness in the past.
Zivar (14:15)
Tell me more.
Amy Babish (14:17)
So, you know, for those of you who don't don't know Zivar, she is fabulous. Like you, you embody like you have a lot of like, I don't know about your chart, but like you have a lot of like Venus energy. You just are very Venus. Like you you are she has really long, beautiful black hair, like wavy, probably curly at times, but you know, you brush it out a lot. I have
Not as much curly black hair, but I have grayish, grayish brown hair. and you have like really fantastic, like just like pieces and jewelry and like your connection with nature and like flowers and your children and even the aesthetic behind you. It's just like you appreciate you appreciate like the beauty of life. Yes. And that to me is like even though on the outside it doesn't feel like very Leo like.
Me, it feels like that is your vibration of Leo. Like you are here to tell people like to notice the nuance of complexity and that we can't have beauty without depth and without really being seen. And I really feel that when I'm receiving everything. So Zivar talks about astrology, you talk about feng shui, you have a deep, deep, deep knowledge of the Talmud. you
I can feel like you know things that you incarnated with that have nothing to do with your background.
And you sit at the intersections of a lot of conflict where people want you to take sides and you're like, I'm in the middle of the Venn diagram, folks. You don't have to choose sides.
Zivar (15:59)
That's also being a middle child.
Amy Babish (16:01)
Yeah. Yeah. So I can feel and you have a partner who just he bows to the goddess. I can feel it. He's a wonderful partner. He he loves you and he he can see your your wholeness and your fullness. And I I can tell your best friends do, your close friends do. I can feel it in in your deck that you're making. I can feel that. and
Something happens then when you're not, when you go to be in this exchange where you I do sense it was before you incarnated, where you said, I'm gonna be sacrificed. I'm gonna sacrifice part of my fierceness, my lioness, my lioness, to just hold
The world and the universe is suffering.
And before, you know, when I was tuning in, I'm able to ask, like, what is the origin of it? And probably to your surprise, it is not, it is not ancestral.
Zivar (17:17)
I want to know more.
Amy Babish (17:19)
So, so I I work with a lot of people from many lineages where it is bloodline ancestral based. And so yours isn't ancestral. And and we'll we'll kind of get into that. And then I I'm able to ask, is this intention that you're bringing today, is it related to anything from a past life? It's it's not. wow. So when when someone is a being like like you.
Oftentimes it's like your origins are quite ancient and they go beyond.
Beyond what we know as humans.
So the Taoists understand this. I think that the esoteric nature of the Kabbalah understands this. Yeah. And different wisdom traditions, they understand something in the beyond, the beyond that it got lost in translation when humans tried to like make a shape and form of it. so even though like astrology and Taoism and all these traditions are very vast and they're very
meaningful, what this conflict that you're carrying is beyond those things. And so then when we incarnate, we are like, these are our gifts, these are all the great things. And then here's the things that I've been journeying with. And I'd like to work on them in this lifetime. And when we're in the beingness, there's really no, there's no consequence. There's no good, bad, right, wrong. And so it's kind of like an experimentation.
And so then you gather, you know, beings and bloodlines and everybody, and you're like, hey guys, who wants to help me with these things? And then the help is oftentimes found in the contrast. And so what I have found is that the people that love us the most have signed up to hurt us the most.
Zivar (19:25)
Oof.
Amy Babish (19:27)
And I I had this awareness almost 10 years ago with my previous father in law. He I was married to a Japanese national for a long time and he had a really hard time with my aiminess. And the guides the guides gave me the clarity that
Outside of my own family, he we agreed that he was going to be like a a staff in the road that was like, are you gonna choose to remember? Are you gonna just kind of go unconscious again? And it was not in the wisdom tradition or kindness kind of way. Yeah. You know, from the outside looking in, it was was quite hard. and so.
It wasn't a detrimental life agreement, even though it was a really hard, very hard human experience. And my my experience of the people that I'm meant to, you know, help through these things is that we've all chosen those kind of things where we asked people out of love to help us to remember. And with, you know.
Western psychology and postmodern thought, it's literally like the petri dish of in constellation work. We would say, like, what happened at the family table? And that could be any caregivers, family members that were invited, community members that were invited, like the the most intimate relationships. That's where kind of all the challenges go back to. And for for some people, that really is the case. Like we could just be there, and that's we have genocide there, we have racism there, we have.
all the things that were contributing to why people made those choices. And when we have roots that are quite, quite ancient, like that's the only thing that we can point to, that we have a like way to name the shape and form of why it's so agonizing to be who we are. And when when I was able to like really ask like what am I supposed to be of service to you with today?
it was this is a life agreement that you made that goes beyond even that. So th those life agreements were consensual. Like you asked them, they said yes before you incarnated. And they were the counterpoint to help you to remember the bigger things. And when we have that, it is really complicated. And so then with this of like why.
You've done all this work. Why can't I have clarity about my work in the world, my career? Yeah.
It's like another thing? You're kidding me. I've been through all these hard human things. Like now, why can't I just make some money? Like
Zivar (22:37)
That's exactly how it feels. And something you said so deeply resonated. A few years ago, I uncovered a trauma with a family member of abuse, and I went to this healer. It sort of happened to she's not anywhere on Instagram or on the interweb. She lived in a studio apartment in the theater district, and she said to me.
You did something much worse to them in a past life. This is grace that they're offering, and like you are complete with your karma with them. And for some reason, it was the first her saying that, it was the first time I had felt relief after uncovering this experience. It was like you made this agreement, and just be grateful that it is on its way, you know.
Amy Babish (23:38)
Hello?
So this was probably a dramatic pause for those of you listening. but right as Zivar was about to share something really potent.
Her screen froze for me, and my screen froze for her. And what she saw was a really menacing face. And when we came back on, because the power completely went out, we we named that it was an entity that has been like an energy form that has been kind of wreaking havoc in her life for a long time. And so we did a process offline. It's not meant for the interwebs.
to ask for it to be forbidden from her life, from her relationships, from her work, from her home, from her car, from all these different things. that anytime she's tried to move forward, it has it has thwarted her. And that's the word I would use. and this is a conversation I have with a lot of people where you are someone who's very spiritually connected, you have a deep.
connection with many things and like you're in your wholeness and even someone like you can have this kind of interference. So it doesn't have anything to do with your spirituality, it doesn't have anything to do with your like belief system system or your resoluteness. And I know you have people praying for you. You have people that like believe in you, that have good intentions for you, but this is something that's quite complex that was really wreaking havoc.
Zivar (25:48)
Yes.
Amy Babish (25:49)
Yeah.
Zivar (25:50)
That was very potent and clearly on some level wanted to be cleared.
Amy Babish (25:56)
Yeah, like it it it it served its purpose. Yes. And we were talking about before you cut out, you had this session with with the healer and it was the first time and then I couldn't hear anything you said.
Zivar (26:12)
It was the first time where someone named something that was difficult to say, which is that you had a life agreement, but also that that is cleared now. And
Amy Babish (26:22)
And move.
Zivar (26:23)
not to get stuck there. Instead of getting stuck in in the story, say it thank you, it's done.
Amy Babish (26:30)
It's done.
Zivar (26:31)
Brought so much relief to me.
Amy Babish (26:34)
Yeah. So I I I get that all of in constellation where we talk about ancestral entanglements, like these are the burdens we took on out of love. None of that was a ancestral entanglement. It was a life agreement, which is different. And anything that we do today, anything you do in your life moving forward, it might benefit your blood ancestors or might benefit your past life lineages, but it's not because you owe them and it's not because they're asking you to do this for them. It's like kind of like extra credit.
Zivar (27:04)
It's so interesting because my my younger sister jokes, who's not that young now, she's in her forties. You feel like you just got dropped into our family. Like you don't really make sense in our family. I s it
Amy Babish (27:18)
And I
Zivar (27:20)
stuck with me when she said that. Like I do. I've always felt like an outsider and I and I can sometimes look like my parents, but also not. And it's yeah.
Amy Babish (27:32)
I'm aware of that. So so in in some ways you kind of did just drop in.
Zivar (27:37)
That's what it feels like sometimes. Like how did I end up here?
Amy Babish (27:41)
You you you dropped into this. and one of your ancestors is like this Michigas. That's what they literally said, just said to me. So it's like
Zivar (27:54)
Like why didn't we need you here? What were you what were you gonna do? Right.
Amy Babish (27:58)
So so, you know, the ancestors can be lighthearted, right? Yeah. Doesn't always have to be so h hard and heavy. so do you have any questions or anything you want to name before we we go deeper?
Zivar (28:14)
I just the when we got stuck, it really stirred a lot of fear, which is the thing that gets stirred by that entity that is no longer a part of my life. Thank you for clearing. And I feel that that percolates right at the precipice of any new thing, which then puts me in a position of do I want to walk alongside the terror of this new moment or just retreat?
You know? And I, you know, to sort of give roundness to the intention, I have two daughters and my younger now is five and a half and I feel resourced enough to go out into the world again. And so I'm excited, but there is a fear that walks alongside that this is gonna cost me my sanity, truly.
Amy Babish (29:09)
Yeah. So so part of it is like you want the clarity of how to do the work safely and that you're doing the work that is safe for you to do.
Zivar (29:19)
And generative for me and everybody. Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Babish (29:23)
And it I can feel like alive, like you want aliveness.
Zivar (29:25)
Yes.
Amy Babish (29:27)
so you know, I was asking when we were we were disconnected, I asked, we were spiritually connected, but in the Zoom disconnected. I was asking, because you know so many different modalities, like it's important, it's important to name that like you have a lot of skills and you have a lot of prayers and like feng shui is really good with these things, but sometimes when it's so complicated.
Nothing, everything you throw at it just doesn't work. So it can feel like really like futile and very frustrating when you feel very competent and very capable. And then this BS continues to happen. so I I explained before we came back on that that is separate from the life agreement, but the life agreement it didn't make you permeable, but it it was like opportunistic.
of that of that energy to come in.
Zivar (30:24)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (30:25)
So the frustrations from the life agreement are about the life agreement, but then you're being thwarted on top of not having clarity.
Zivar (30:34)
Yes. That makes a lot more sense, yeah.
Amy Babish (30:35)
Does that make better sense?
Rather than like piling it all into one, they're they're two separate things and that's important to not like conflate them.
Zivar (30:45)
Yeah. And sometimes I've ex I feel it differently now in our conversation and the unfolding here, but what I felt in the past is attributing it to the person, like my life agreement of receiving everybody's stories and traumas, I've attributed to their some shadow in their life attaching to me
Amy Babish (31:07)
Yeah.
Zivar (31:07)
versus this thing that won't give up with me specifically.
Amy Babish (31:13)
Yeah. So it's like when you when you were receiving those deposits of density of like story that were really painful, that is like opens like a little like you know, like a pool, like a swimming pool. And that energy would just slide in and like munch on it and take advantage of it.
Zivar (31:35)
Yes.
Amy Babish (31:36)
And then you'd feel extra, extra, extra like drained, extra heavy.
Extra scared, extra like overwhelmed. Yeah, this isn't gonna work for me. because you you felt like it was like it's kind of like all these things keep on coming into the soup, and you're like, I just want to have a clear broth. And you're like, but they threw in these things and they threw in these things, and I don't want those seasonings, and like you you keep on getting it. It's like no matter what you do, you're getting that. Yeah. And
Zivar (32:07)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (32:08)
then you're also when even when you're not being deposited on.
When you try to move forward in other ways, then you also have that energy coming in and thwarted you. So it's, you know, it's like a it's like part of what I do is help people get to the root cause of like what is playing out. So it's like there there were two things and the energies, the entities, whatever that was, we don't have to know what it is. it's gone. It's it's completely.
And it it can't come back. It can't come back. So yeah, so that's that's quite big. and I think you probably know this from like all of your your own life experience, but when we are in more wholeness and we have more gifts, it's it is a different vibration. And so when you're vibrating at such a tremendous amount of energy, sometimes those energies are like.
I I just haven't been around something like this. And like let me come and like kind of like meddle or like mess around. What we just had was not that. So that was like that. Well, the fairness.
Zivar (33:20)
Yeah. Nefarious.
Amy Babish (33:24)
That's exactly yeah, that was exactly what it was. So as you kind of go through this process, like you might have little things that are irritating and like you could still say no to those things, but it won won't ever be what what that was.
Zivar (33:37)
Yeah. So that's what's that?
Amy Babish (33:41)
so
When I, you know, when we had been messaging about some things before the podcast. and I I have a strong sense that, you know, when people are suffering, they cry out and ask for help. And I have a sense like sometimes when we're in desperation because life has been hard, because we've been displaced, because there's been genocide, because there's been so many things. Sometimes when we cry out, we don't know who or what we're crying out to help for.
And I have a sense that in in part of the lineage, they were so desperate for survival that they were willing to make that kind of deal.
And it was not, it didn't, it was so desperate they didn't know if it was in wholeness or not. Yeah. They just wanted to survive. So
Zivar (34:37)
Yeah and
Amy Babish (34:38)
it's the price that many have paid, but you you have it's been it's quite old. It's like like around two two thousand twenty five hundred years old. and it was it was in the mountains. I can feel it was in the mountain, it was in a cave.
Zivar (34:56)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (34:57)
And it was like it was like they they needed to survive, I can feel it. And they were alone. And so there was a crying out and then a taking advantage of.
And like it was like the utmost vulnerability, like I might die tomorrow kind of feeling. And the crying out, there wasn't any people around to like steal from or no animals to eat, like it was just like desolate languishing.
Zivar (35:32)
Yes.
Amy Babish (35:34)
And the crying out led to like I can feel like it wasn't even conscious, like you know, when you're that depleted, like sometimes you have like
very lucid thoughts. And so I don't think that they realized that they were making a deal with something that wasn't a whole. And over time, right? Over time it was like it kind of journeyed with like the experience of desperation in people in the lineage. So it didn't it wasn't like it came generation after generation, but it would like maybe skip some generations and then it wouldn't be the same circumstances as the cave, but it would be something like a really like a
a loss of a fire of a house or a business or like family shame. And it would just come in and like feed off of that and like kind of re-up the agreement.
Zivar (36:28)
Ooh.
That resonates.
Amy Babish (36:33)
Yeah, so I I can feel that that's kind of like like
It's not a gin, but it it it's something like the gin, the gin is more whole than this.
Zivar (36:47)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (36:48)
So it's like something that just would be there and then leave for a while and then come back. Yeah. And like sometimes like a couple hundred years at a time.
Zivar (36:57)
Ooh. I'm so happy that we cleared that. Thank you. Goodbye.
Amy Babish (37:04)
Yes, goodbye. Goodbye. so
Okay. So for you, when we we have all kinds of life agreements, right? So we have positive ones like your daughters and your and your partner. You have lots of positive ones, then you have neutral ones, and then you have ones that are negative, but like you could change your mind on. And this one that we're gonna work on is what I'm what I'm calling what they've told me to call.
Like against medical advice. Like it's an AMA agreement. And so we know in modern times, people who are in the hospital, like they're in and they're out. And so someone that leaves the hospital when they're like pushing out the door, it's
Zivar (37:51)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (37:52)
like you really don't want to, you don't oftentimes wanna listen. Not
Zivar (37:56)
Yes.
Amy Babish (37:57)
that the medical system's always right either, but like sometimes people are in their righteousness, like, I know better. That's that's
That's the kind of feeling that happens with this. So this is an ancient, like we could talk about how old when we get off the podcast, but it's it's it's really ancient. And you were
An epic being. And so surprise, surprise. and so in your epicness, you you this this is one that's just for humanity. You were like, I don't understand why humans don't have clarity about like how to how to like have a give and take and like how to like move forward in their life, like with you might not have called it money, but like
And it wasn't survival, but it was like
They're saying like flourishing, flourishing outside of the home. That's what they're saying. Like you were just like, why don't humans get it? And so you really minimized the complexity of the human experience outside of the home. And now you have been on the receiving end of.
terms and the conditions of that agreement. So you thought, and we'll probably get to what your essence is pretty quickly. Like you're like, if people just had this, then it doesn't matter if they're flourishing outside of the home. Like they just have this and it's going be great. And now
Zivar (39:33)
Yeah. If
you just have faith, like that's what comes up. If you just have faith, like faith carries you. But then you're like, No, being human is a whole other thing. Yeah. Yeah.
Amy Babish (39:49)
So yeah, you were, this is gonna sound redundant, but you were divine faith.
Zivar (39:56)
Hmm.
Amy Babish (39:59)
And that's like I can feel it deep in the heart. And so you kind of were like, I can give you an energy. And so you're like, if I can just come give people faith, they'll be able to handle anything. And you're like, you have like the faith of mustard seed or the faith that can move mountains and like faith that like the grass will grow again. Like you, you kind of we would all gather and we would have these great ideas.
about how we can solve for things with humans. And then one of the peers would come and say, divine faith. It you're really important, but like we need all the flavors to help these humans. And you were like, but they really don't understand faith. This is and
Zivar (40:47)
I say that to my to my husband all the time. I say that to myself, even. Like
Amy Babish (40:55)
And then
Zivar (40:56)
lately it's just come to this place where I'm like, joke's on me. You know, like I thought faith could take care of it all, but jokes on me. And also, since having my children be older and knowing how great of a mom I am and how competent I am there.
I'm like, ooh, I wanna you like I wanna play with that sense of competency. Yeah. That like is a that is that walks alongside faith.
Amy Babish (41:25)
Yeah, like agency and like capacity and and
Zivar (41:30)
Responsibility even.
Amy Babish (41:31)
right, like and and free will. And like choice. Yeah, choice. Exactly. Yes, choice. And you know, it's not that we're just these passive, passive beings who are being done to.
Zivar (41:46)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (41:48)
And with with these life agreements, they're not a, they're only with ourselves. That's the wild thing. So sometimes life agreements are with others, like you have a life agreement with your girls to be their mother. Right. That's that's a positive life agreement. And you you guys agreed together, but it's two different groups, right? With this bigger life agreement, when you were this,
Zivar (42:12)
BN.
Amy Babish (42:14)
it was you with you.
So nobody made you sign it. And then for all of these agreements, like the terms and the conditions are so tiny, just like a real legal agreement here. Yeah. No, that you're going to be on the receiving end of no matter how much faith I am or I have, it's not going to shift clarity and like my living outside, like living life.
Zivar (42:37)
Right.
Amy Babish (42:39)
And it oftentimes gets into like
You probably inspire people with your faith and you still see for them they have so much like pain or grief or anger or agony and that faith alone isn't shifting the needle for them. And that's painful to witness.
Zivar (42:59)
Yeah. I often hold that space for people of I trust you will get through this. And people receive from that. Yes,
Amy Babish (43:12)
Yeah.
Zivar (43:14)
there is more to the story.
Amy Babish (43:16)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it can be like you're getting it in spades of like they have such tremendous faith too, but I see now they need more than faith.
Zivar (43:26)
Yeah. And my s I need more than faith. That I think is really the crux of it.
Amy Babish (43:31)
Yeah, yeah. So it's like you you even said like in in this lifetime, I will be the repository for the other people's stuff because I have the faith that faith alone will transmute it for me.
Zivar (43:45)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (43:46)
And and now you're like, no, it's faith is really important, but it is not it is a flavor, but it's not the whole experience.
Zivar (43:57)
Yes, said
Amy Babish (43:59)
Yeah. So that's one of the
Zivar (44:01)
My my husband often jokes that like Zivar you need to touch life more and what he means is like he has a Taurus moon, he just is like be in your body, be in the the humanness and the grotesqueness of humanness. And I think sometimes my faith lets me live somewhere that is not here and then I wonder why living here can be so hard for me, you know.
Amy Babish (44:30)
Yeah. So it's like when you were part of it is you were this being. And so you're more familiar to be out, out, out.
Zivar (44:39)
Yes.
Amy Babish (44:41)
And it's like comfortable there. And when you know, our belly button is the middle in Taoism of where heaven meets earth and us. And you've been through birth and you have a lot of like a lot of
Flavors of birth in your in your lived experience and in your work. So it's like you're you're teaching people to allow spirit to come through and be birthed into the here and now.
And so part of part of this was like, even though you birthed your daughters, you weren't able to really be here fully because you you pledge allegiance to the faiths. Like you're like, like I'm just gonna be faithful.
Zivar (45:23)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (45:24)
So
Zivar (45:25)
And then I'm what I've been feeling lately where it's been painful is like I know that being here is such a privilege. And
Amy Babish (45:36)
Okay.
Zivar (45:37)
by only quote unquote existing on faith, I don't get to like be in the abundance and joy of like the touching and the beauty of humanness. I mean, down to like
Getting a massage, which I would love to do every week, you know, the financial strain of all the different things. I'm like, I don't want to live in a world of extraction from others, but I really want to be in the river.
Amy Babish (46:04)
Yes. Yeah. Yes. So it's like your husband is naming like the grotesqueness, but it's like to be in the felt sense awareness of of living. Yes. And like you have the sanctity of life, like you understand that. But then to really like be able to digest life and live it and breathe it and be in exchange when we're just in like in you have like the ginormous divine faith. Like that's bigger than even my mind can understand.
And it's not that the the faith will go away, but it's like it will be right sized in your field.
So it's like that. Like you'll it will be sacred and be treasured, but it's not gonna obliterate your ability to like choose.
Zivar (46:48)
Yes.
Amy Babish (46:50)
And it
won't also keep you on this kind of like hamster wheel of only being able to like like I can feel the energy, like you can only kind of reach up other than your daughters and your partner and like a few other things. So like even reaching up isn't taking, you're not taking from the divine. Yeah, you're just you're reaching up.
Zivar (47:14)
Yes.
Amy Babish (47:15)
And so
the the movement is it's gonna be, you know, from the heart and the in the wound.
Zivar (47:23)
Yeah.
Amy Babish (47:24)
And
in Taoism, we talk about the heart, like to be in the path of like changing our destiny is a kidney movement.
And like the kidneys are in charge of terror, they're in charge of right size risk, and they're in charge of faith. And so it's going to be a realignment of your kidneys. And when our kidneys are really nourished, then the heart can move down to the kidneys and it feels like it's in our womb as women. And that is when the medicine of our heart can change the life path and our destiny.
Zivar (48:07)
That feels right on time, especially as I like I'm in this paramenopausal space. You know, the womb is no longer the place of creating children, it's transforming.
Amy Babish (48:19)
Yeah. And when, you know, people go to acupuncture because they want to know, like, what why am I here? And this is a big acupuncture process of inviting the heart down to the kidneys. But if our kidneys aren't fully nourished and our spirit or our shen is always out, then we can't have that movement to like actually bring it down and in and walk the path. So for you, there's been a lot of prayer about it. There's been a lot of faith about it.
But then like the moving forward and the lack of clarity is because of this AMA life agreement.
Zivar (48:53)
Yes, yes.
Amy Babish (48:54)
Yeah. So it's like it's it's like answering the question of like why, like I'm sure you're very like wise with other people. Like you can speak wisdom to people for for days. You write about it, like and it's
Zivar (49:05)
Yeah. But that
Amy Babish (49:06)
like
Zivar (49:06)
it's a place of ease for me.
Amy Babish (49:09)
And then when it comes to you, you're like, well, what's happening here, guys?
Zivar (49:12)
Yeah. So
Amy Babish (49:13)
Yeah. So with this process, the invitation is that I will say some things to myself and you will will you'll pray in your own way. And and it is a legal agreement. So I can tell you this part. So is it there's like different different terms? It's a rescinding. So you're gonna ask for the agreement to be rescinded, and then you can ask.
For
Anything that needs to be be transmuted for it to be transmuted and to be for it to be like in revelation to you. So what is it that needs to be revealed? And then also I can feel that people who can pay you have misperceived you.
Zivar (49:59)
Interesting.
Amy Babish (50:00)
They have misperceived and taken it like, it's the Zivarness, like.
Zivar (50:06)
People underestimate me a lot.
Amy Babish (50:09)
Yeah.
Zivar (50:09)
Yeah. Yeah. Like, she's a sweet, cool mom, but like
Amy Babish (50:15)
You have a craft, you have gifts, you have wisdom, and they have taken, they've been confused for like women's circles or like girlfriendness or something. Like it's not the right frequency. No. So it's been confused. so in the revelation, it's not just revelation for you, it's revelation. You're asking for the people that you have life agreements with that you're meant to serve and support, that they can see you clearly now.
Zivar (50:43)
Mm.
Amy Babish (50:45)
Like they're gonna be ready to be like, hey, what do you what what are you offering anything? Like and and things are coming through. So we're both gonna, I'm gonna press pause and we're gonna do this. we're gonna do it not live because it's too sacred to do it live. And then we're gonna come right back on.
So we completed our our prayer process. Do you have any questions before we we go into kind of the integration process?
Zivar (51:20)
I feel overwhelmed in a good way. With all of the things that have moved. So I'm just w be I'm I don't even have words. Yeah.
Amy Babish (51:31)
Yeah, yeah. It is a lot and you know
You have a you're well versed in like process and things not being transactional. So I really am grateful that that you have that awareness. And so with this work, you know, the call or the prayer sometimes completes in the moment and you and yours did. Sometimes it's like it's gonna take 48 hours or it's gonna take three weeks just to complete it. So that's not the case for yours. And then the next step is to kind of they can guide the integration. And so your integration process is.
gonna be three f three phases. So phase
Zivar (52:11)
Okay.
Amy Babish (52:12)
one starts today.
And I will ask, you know, what they what they recommend.
So they're gonna start with something that you might know from your punctue practice to do salt bowl.
Zivar (52:30)
I have heard of them, yeah.
Amy Babish (52:31)
So in Taoism, salt is used as a magnifier, a magnetizer, but it's also used as a clearer. So it's two, it's like a two for one. And they recommend.
that you you have one in the space that you work. So I don't know if you work in different places in the home or if you have like a designated spot.
Zivar (52:58)
I have two spots. My office and also I love the kitchen table.
Amy Babish (53:02)
Okay, so those two spots are great. So you're gonna take like I have this dish here, it can be smaller than this, and you're gonna fill it three quarters of the way full with salt and anything other than iodized salt. And so usually when I do this, it's like I just get like a big bag because you can use it a different different for different things. So are you a morning person or a night person? Morning. So you're gonna do this in the morning. So
you can start it today, but tomorrow morning before you know, before you start your day, you're going to empty out the salt and the outside trash. You don't put it in the house trash at all. And you're asking, you're setting the intention for the salt to clear out anything that's been just here that's not in alignment, not in a wholeness. And then you're asking the salt to magnetize the clarity and the opportunities and like the right sized.
give and take with people in your business. Okay. So you're gonna the salt will like kind of be like a transmitter between you and these people, like online, in your real life, like in all these different ways. So the salt practice, they're gonna recommend that you do that for one week, for seven days.
And
There's nothing else for the first phase.
So phase two will start on
pulling up my calendar. We'll start on the twenty eighth.
And that will be
Three days.
And during those three days, I'm gonna send you it's a Tibetan practice that is also deals with salt, but it's really deep kidney work. And you only do this once and it's quite intense, and you probably want to take a nap or go to bed after it. So you don't want to do it like when you wanna go play with your girls or like go driving, like it will probably like really reorganize a lot of stuff in you. so
Yeah, that that will be that will be so on the 31st is the beginning of the third phase.
For the third phase.
Three weeks.
Zivar (55:58)
weeks.
Amy Babish (56:03)
And that will take you to
I think
Like the twenty first, twenty second of August.
These are not like hard, fast times.
Zivar (56:19)
Yeah, my birthday is the nineteenth of August.
Amy Babish (56:23)
I saw that in your post the other day.
Zivar (56:25)
Yeah. So it's it feels like a beautiful gift arc to be in this practice.
Amy Babish (56:32)
Yes. Yeah. It's going to take you through the solar return canal. so for the third phase.
This one is new. They're gonna ask. I'm gonna, I'm gonna share. it's a feng shui cure and and it's something that's it is time intensive. So we'll talk about
We'll talk about the strategies because you're a busy person. but it's a networking cure. And my, my, my mentor, Amanda Gibby Peters, she's only ever done it once. She has a different constitution than you and I, but it moves a lot, it moves a lot of energy. And I did it a couple of years ago and it was so incredibly meaningful. And I reconnected with people that I haven't thought of like since like high school. So
It will, it will, it's more about like allowing energy to shift that's been stagnant. And that is really important because you have been not because of your like because of your own doing, but not because your conscious doing of this life agreement. Like that's that's important. so it's it's a big practice. And so when I did it, I sat and prepared.
I'm like a preparation person. So I prepared for the practice before I did it. And it took me about a week to prepare. And then it's a 27-day practice. So we'll
Zivar (58:04)
Okay.
Amy Babish (58:06)
do it in nine days and we could talk about the nine day option if you really have that kind of energy. But I'll I'll kind of give you the different the different choices. but it's super helpful when you are a small business owner and you're like really wanting some like oomph to come through.
This is this is the remedy. And they just like brought it forward. So it's it's a water, it's a water cure, a water remedy. So it's pretty, it's pretty, pretty magnificent. so they don't have any other recommendations. do you have any questions?
Zivar (58:47)
No. I feel like I'm being asked to be in practice and I am willing. And it's so funny because my friends keep saying, What do you want to do for your birthday? What do you want to do? And I keep offering, it's going to come through.
Amy Babish (59:04)
Yeah, yeah.
Zivar (59:06)
So this feels like a beautiful practice. yeah, I'm curious.
Amy Babish (59:11)
I'm curious.
They have they have another recommendation and I will I will give it to you that we can modify for your birthday.
Zivar (59:22)
Right.
Amy Babish (59:23)
Yeah, so I'm gonna put that that one down.
Yeah. So it's interesting because oftentimes people will use a fire remedy to get like ignite recognition when we have like a business matter, but they really want water for you. I think because you're probably very fine.
Zivar (59:45)
I
was gonna say it's a good opposing element for me. Yeah. I have
Amy Babish (59:49)
It's very balanced for you.
Zivar (59:51)
a lot of fire.
Amy Babish (59:52)
yeah. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for your willingness. Thank you to your field. thank you to the divine faith that you've carried for a long time. Eons. And to those of you who are listening, if you have your own kind of
really frustrating, confusing things that continue to happen, and you've looked in your chart, or you've done a lot of personal inquiry or spiritual inquiry or gotten a lot of help around it and it just doesn't seem to budge. I really invite you to contact me to explore where you might have your own AMA life agreement. Because oftentimes people are drawn to this podcast for really really by the mystery. And so
You might not know that it's a life agreement. You would never know to ask for that. people don't come to me asking for that unless they listen to the podcast, but it's oftentimes that's when it's not ancestral and it's not past life, it is it is this. So wishing you Zivar and to everyone listening, wishing you gentle integration and just like the clearing of the path and the revelation of what is really gonna come and be in exchange with you.
and this big life. So
Zivar (1:01:15)
You so much, Amy.
Amy Babish (1:01:17)
thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Sending blessings from the Doagland that I I steward here outside of Washington, DC. And we'll see each other on the big campus of life.